The Dark Knight: Cinema's Little Whore

We are all aware of the huge success that is the dark knight.

However, this past weekend the dark Knight pulled in yet another 75 million bucks, which makes this movie

the "CINEMA WHORE OF THE YEAR"

congratulations Christian Bale, your movie is the Pimp, and you have about 100 million Middle aged male prostitutes, that each shelled out 8 bucks a piece, to be with you for 2 and a half hours.

Congrats, and get tested, there were a lot of people in YOUR theater

Britney Spears: Hot, or Not?

Ok folks, you be the judge of whether or not you want a piece of her

Dear Juno,

Did No one tell you?

... Fat chicks should not wear horizontal stripes...

Especially not in a VIDEO GAME!

Yes, that is right folks, Juno is going to star in her very own video game, and this is no joke.

If it's an action title, maybe she will have the power to transform into the Most fruitful Yuki, a pregnant Japanese action hero.

But, if Juno is going to be kicking butt any time soon, she will have to stop drinking those 64 ounce blue slushies...

Hannah Montana: The Porn Star?

Ok, so it is not official, but there is allegedly going to be a sex scene in the new Hannah montana flick.

Oh yes, our favorite Disney channel star with a weave, MIGHT bare all in this provocative spin-off from a disney television program

rumors are flying all over the place as to who Hannah Montana is going to make sweet love with, but our sources say that it will indefinitely be Miley's co-star, Billy Ray Cyrus.

That's right America, Hannah Montana is going to touch her dads "kerslopis", and we could not be happier...

The Dark Knight: Does it Live up to Hype?

Ok, I personally have not seen the latest Batman flick, but it did provoke me to ask a question;

Does this movie live up to the hype?

i mean, I respect the dead and all, but is Heath Ledger's death the reason people are getting into this movie so much?

I mean, Batman is alone these days, now that his lover (robin) is gone.

So, is that why he is so dark?

Now that Batman is no longer "hitting that" he decides to become dark?

Please! We all know that batman LOVES musicals and rainbows, and we all know that he frolics barefoot in public.

So, is batman really a dark Knight, or just a drama queen?

These are the questions, people. The questions america NEEDS to know!!!

High school Musical 3 : Success, or failure

While I realize that there are many devoted fans to this disney trilogy, I can't help but fantasize about this movies impending failure.
I mean, let's face it, most people over the age of ten are not going to request a ticket for "high school musical". That, plus the fact that most americans hate the kids from East High, will add to the failure of this movie.

* but, what if I'm wrong, and this movie is a commercial success?
Sure, there ae many dissappointed fans who felt isolated after the travesty that is High school Musical 2, but, maybe they were not isolated enough to not buy a ticket.

The bottom line is, ANYONE would watch High School musical if it was still on tv. First of all, it is free. Also, you are in the comfort of your own home, where no one KNOWS you are watching Disney. But, out in public, you would be torn apart for PAYING for said movie experience. But if the same amount of people who tuned in for the latest installment of the franchise (17 million) ALSO go see THIS installment, at approximately 8-12 dollars a ticket,
We are talking upwards of 170 million dollars, opening weekend (more that the dark knight)
While, I doubt this might happen, there is a chance that this movie COULD draw in a significant amount of cash, but not if america is too timid to request a ticket.

today's famous on screen betch

Anyone remember a movie called Ghost world?

Indeed, it was truly amazing, and in honor of it being released for 7 years, I have decided to make Enid today's onscreen betch

The onscreen betch is when I comemorate a loveable, yet betchy movie character from classic movies

who better to begin this tradition than Enid?

thank you thora birch for providing us with this Wonderful, wonderful betch.

who can forget when Enid made an old man miserable, in this under rated cult film, by making him take her to a porn shop, after she trashes his green cardigan, and embarasses him at a local restaurant,

certainly not us, thora betch... i mean, thora birch

My View, Review of Mamma Mia!

MAMMA MIA!

Ok, Let me start off by saying how wonderful MOST of the cast was in this remake of a hit broadway musical.

Indeed, we are all aware of Meryl streep's undeniable talent, but the real story here is with newcomer amanda seyfried.

The movie starts off, not slow, not fast.

Then, the first song, Honey, honey begins, and the speed of the movie is revved up.

Sure, this is not even close to the best movie I have seen, but, there is no harm in going to the movies to have fun, and that is what mamma mia allows you to do.

Colin Firth does an ok job, as does Julie walters

And I doubt I will ever forget the goosebumps I received during Meryl's number, "The Winner Takes it All"

Unfortunately, every movie, in my mind has its downfall.

And that downfall here, is Pierce brosnan.

for some unknown reason,. every time the mand opens his mouth, every middle aged woman thinks it is hilarious, and the theater erupts with what sounds like the giggles of a school girl.

I am here to inform you trhat Pierce Brosnan is not funny in this movie, at all, and to laugh at him does not make a bit of sense.

All in all, Mamma Mia! deserves the exclamation point at the end of its title, because it is good fun for anyone who wants to view it...

to those who despise pierce asI do, do not fret, he has very few lines.

Hairspray 2: Good or Bad?

When I heard yesterday that a new Hairspray was in the works I jumped with joy, and then shat myself a little.
to be honest, I think a lot of fans WOULD be excited about a sequel to the 2007 hit movie, it's just that, it has the potential to be the next Grease 2, and NOBODY wants that.

*Remember though, John Waters IS writing it, and Adam Shankman is choregraphing. So, if nothing else,we have that to look forward to.

BUT

We do have one problem awaiting us avid hairspray watchers,
and NO, it is not just the fact that a huge fanbase could be devastated by the effects of a bad sequel.


Will they get the original casT?

Personally, I'm sure that Amanda and Queen Latifah will do it.
They seem like nice girls
Michelle, Brittany, Nikki, and Elijah will probably do it, because, I don't think they have many big projects coming up
Christopher Walken and James MArsden MIGHT do it, only because they just never seem to go away.
But the problem lies with Travolta and Efron

Zac, DOES have a history with making musical sequels, (I want to shove every copy of HSM 2 up his rectum)
BUt, he seems to be full of himself as of lately, and maybe, (fingers crossed) they will kill him off of hairspray (perhaps he died of over exposure to aerosol) But, he might not because of his "fame"
And I wouldn't blame travolta if he DiD'nt do it, because of the extensive make-up and crap like that, that he had to go through.


One thing is for certain, there IS going to be another Hairspray...
After all,
"You can't stop the Beat"

Ok, lets be honest

There are A LOT of crappy movies in Hollywood, I would say at least 50% of movies are crappy,
this would include;
High school musical 2
License to Wed
Grease 2
Norbit
From Justin to Kelly
weekend at bernies 2
ANY Adam Sandler/Rob Schneider movie

And, ok... I am difficult to please, but so is most of america

Then the next 25% of the movies out there are ok, not great.
These would be;

School of rock
She's the Man
The Simpsons Movie
Most action movies
Scary movie 1 and 3




Then the last 25% are great
these include;
Hairspray
Juno
Ghost World
Pan's Labyrinth
Charlie bartlet (some would beg to differ)


While I may have different taste in movies, I think we can all agree that America is WAY to EASY to please at the movies.
Case in point,
ANY MATTHEW McConaughey MOVIE

Guess who

ANY WILL FERRELL MOVIE


etc.


but, this is a place where I will discuss Good movies and bad ones alike.
so, you might get offended, you might not.
Oh well,
I hope you enjoy